Games People Play: The Psychology of Human Relationships
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- Create Date：2021-06-08 07:54:16
- Update Date：2025-09-06
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- Author：Eric Berne
- ISBN：0241257476
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Summary
The bestselling Games People Play is the book that has helped millions of people understand the dynamics of relationships， by psychiatrist Eric Berne。
We all play games。 In every encounter with other people we are doing so。 The nature of these games depends both on the situation and on who we meet。
Eric Berne's classic Games People Play is the most accessible and insightful book ever written about the games we play: those patterns of behaviour that reveal hidden feelings and emotions。 Wise and witty， it shows the underlying motivations behind our relationships and explores the roles that we try to play - and are forced to play。
Games People Play gives you the keys to unlock the psychology of others - and yourself。 You'll become more honest， more effective， and a true team player。
'A brilliant， amusing， and clear catalogue of the psychological theatricals that human beings play over and over again' Kurt Vonnegut
Eric Berne was a prominent psychiatrist and bestselling author。After inventing his groundbreaking Transactional Analysis， he continued to develop and apply this new methodology leading him to publish Games People Play。 This became a runaway success and Berne leaves a remarkable legacy of over 30 other books and articles， as well as the founding of the International Transactional Analysis Association。
Dr Berne's other works include Principles of Group Treatment， A Layman's Guide to Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis'， and What Do You Say After You Say Hello？ He died in 1970。
We all play games。 In every encounter with other people we are doing so。 The nature of these games depends both on the situation and on who we meet。
Eric Berne's classic Games People Play is the most accessible and insightful book ever written about the games we play: those patterns of behaviour that reveal hidden feelings and emotions。 Wise and witty， it shows the underlying motivations behind our relationships and explores the roles that we try to play - and are forced to play。
Games People Play gives you the keys to unlock the psychology of others - and yourself。 You'll become more honest， more effective， and a true team player。
'A brilliant， amusing， and clear catalogue of the psychological theatricals that human beings play over and over again' Kurt Vonnegut
Eric Berne was a prominent psychiatrist and bestselling author。After inventing his groundbreaking Transactional Analysis， he continued to develop and apply this new methodology leading him to publish Games People Play。 This became a runaway success and Berne leaves a remarkable legacy of over 30 other books and articles， as well as the founding of the International Transactional Analysis Association。
Dr Berne's other works include Principles of Group Treatment， A Layman's Guide to Psychiatry and Psychoanalysis'， and What Do You Say After You Say Hello？ He died in 1970。
Reviews
Rohit Tandekar
，
Games People Play is a fascinating book， to say the least。 It can be a drab for someone who lacks interest in human relations， psychology or psychiatry but it's entertaining nonetheless。 The book talks about Parent， Adult， Child states of a person and how the complex interactions work out between these states。 It differentiates between procedures， rituals， pastimes and games - whilst attaching serious limiting definitions to each of them。 And that's the beauty of this book。 Each game （life games Games People Play is a fascinating book， to say the least。 It can be a drab for someone who lacks interest in human relations， psychology or psychiatry but it's entertaining nonetheless。 The book talks about Parent， Adult， Child states of a person and how the complex interactions work out between these states。 It differentiates between procedures， rituals， pastimes and games - whilst attaching serious limiting definitions to each of them。 And that's the beauty of this book。 Each game （life games， party games， marital games etc。） is described with authority and finality that you can't help but be amazed by the author's audacity。 Examples throughout the book will follow the pattern - Person A playing Game G will act in such and such manner while Person B will complement it in this fashion。 Each move and reaction is predicted and put down on paper， which makes one wonder if there's always a set pattern whilst playing these games。 Several pages and sections had to be highlighted and bookmarked by me so that I can revisit it later to make sense of some of the claims/references the author makes。 Overall a long but enjoyable read。 。。。more
Gokhan Gerezlioglu
，
Bir psikolog için güzel ancak eğer psikolojiye ilgi duymuyorsanız biraz sıkıcı bir kitap。Kitap， insanların ego durumlarına göre insanların oynadığı psikolojik oyunlardan bahsediyor birçok oyun kuramı ileri sürüyor。 Farkında olmadan oynadığımız bu oyunları fark etmek açısından güzel olsa da dili oldukça ağır， ben okurken sıkıldım。“Farkındalık， kişinin bir kahve makinesini veya kuşların cıvıltısını ona öğretildiği şekilde değil de， kendine özgü bir şekilde görmesi ve duyması olarak açıklanabilir。” Bir psikolog için güzel ancak eğer psikolojiye ilgi duymuyorsanız biraz sıkıcı bir kitap。Kitap， insanların ego durumlarına göre insanların oynadığı psikolojik oyunlardan bahsediyor birçok oyun kuramı ileri sürüyor。 Farkında olmadan oynadığımız bu oyunları fark etmek açısından güzel olsa da dili oldukça ağır， ben okurken sıkıldım。“Farkındalık， kişinin bir kahve makinesini veya kuşların cıvıltısını ona öğretildiği şekilde değil de， kendine özgü bir şekilde görmesi ve duyması olarak açıklanabilir。” 。。。more
Yavor Dragostinov
，
Timeless classic。
Ytg
，
Takeaway: people do things mainly to structure their time， and sometimes to have hidden psychological gains。
Didzis Krogzems
，
Very interesting book and a good introduction to TA - Transnational Analysis。 Berne describes How Subconsciously people play Games reassure their convictions as a part of self-fulfilling prophecy and even interacting trough adversarial positions reap benefits to their relationship。
Bryon Brandt
，
I had to read this book twice to get it。The first time I was too young， leading to protected a life， to understand yet。Then reading it again after attending university in the big city of Boston， it made a lot more sense to me。
Emily Moore
，
I only read this because it was a joke in modern family that I didn’t understand。 Nonetheless was thoroughly enjoyed but made me question all my friends’ and family’s behaviour 😀🥲
Justyna
，
Ciekawe jest uświadomienie sobie istnienia tylu rodzajów gier， ale może faktycznie nie trzeba było czytać całej książki， a wystarczyłby jej fragment。 Ponadto te wszystkie tezy， antytezy i analityczne wyjaśnianie gier było dla mnie nie do końca zrozumiałe， ale rozumiem， że to pewnie przez brak psychologicznego backgroundu。
Sam
，
Didn't realize this was a psychology classic。 The theory is a bit dated and it is a bit over-applied in many examples， but it is still quite interesting。 Didn't realize this was a psychology classic。 The theory is a bit dated and it is a bit over-applied in many examples， but it is still quite interesting。 。。。more
Coquery Victorien
，
Very interesting Human beings tend to be trapped in social and inner games they often don't even realize they are playing。 The author explains this principle and describes the games。 To him， the goal of human life is to go beyong the games to have more authenticity in the form of awareness， spontaneity， intimacy， although most people on Earth won't free themselves from the burden of game playing and never get their full freedom。 Very interesting Human beings tend to be trapped in social and inner games they often don't even realize they are playing。 The author explains this principle and describes the games。 To him， the goal of human life is to go beyong the games to have more authenticity in the form of awareness， spontaneity， intimacy， although most people on Earth won't free themselves from the burden of game playing and never get their full freedom。 。。。more
Ramakanth
，
Enjoyed reading one of the classics in psychiatry。 Author explores significance of small talks and the purposes of why people assume roles in conversations。 Very interesting to read game analysis， past times using the concept that every individual has three ego states parent， adult and child。 This is really an interesting area to further explore。
Esraa Jad
，
مراجعة كتاب #games_people_play قرأت هذا الكتاب بعد محاضرة عن تحليل المعاملات، وكانت المشكلة التي واجهتها، أو لنقل أثارت استغرابي، أن هذا الكتاب غير مترجم، فهو موجود بحوالي ٣٠ لغة ليس من بينهم العربية، كتاب من اهم الكتب في مجال الطب والتحليل النفسي。الكتاب مقسم إلى ثلاثة أجزاء، الجزء الأول هو الأصعب لأنه أكاديمي جدا حيث التعريفات والنظريات والمقارنات، لكنه مهم لتفرق بين الألعاب والنشاطات والتسالي، فالكاتب مهتم جدا بأن لا يتم الخلط بين مفهوم الألعاب والمفاهيم الأخرى، وخصوصا أن المفاهيم النفسية يساء مراجعة كتاب #games_people_play قرأت هذا الكتاب بعد محاضرة عن تحليل المعاملات، وكانت المشكلة التي واجهتها، أو لنقل أثارت استغرابي، أن هذا الكتاب غير مترجم، فهو موجود بحوالي ٣٠ لغة ليس من بينهم العربية، كتاب من اهم الكتب في مجال الطب والتحليل النفسي。الكتاب مقسم إلى ثلاثة أجزاء، الجزء الأول هو الأصعب لأنه أكاديمي جدا حيث التعريفات والنظريات والمقارنات، لكنه مهم لتفرق بين الألعاب والنشاطات والتسالي، فالكاتب مهتم جدا بأن لا يتم الخلط بين مفهوم الألعاب والمفاهيم الأخرى، وخصوصا أن المفاهيم النفسية يساء استخدامها، فوضع شروط لكي يطلق على معاملة معينه كلمة "لعبة" وفيه يشرح حالات الذات وأهمية كل حالة، وكيف يتم التداخل بينهم، وشرح مفصل لأحد الألعاب، وتوضيح العناصر التي سيتم من خلالها تحليل كل لعبة。أما في الجزء الثاني عرض بعض الألعاب، وهو الجزء الأكثر متعه بالنسبة لي، حيث تحليل الألعاب، أصابني الذهول من الألعاب التي نمارسها يومين تقريبا،قسم الألعاب لألعاب زوجية، وجنسية، وألعاب تخص العالم السفلي（قد تنتهي بالموت） وألعاب في غرفة العلاج النفسي، وألعاب في الحفلات。。 إلخ، مع الوقت نظرتك للعبة ولما تفعل تختلف، ولكن الخوف أصابني أن يقرأ أحد هذه الألعاب ويبدا بإسقاط الأحكام ويطلق التشخيصات، وهو ما خاف منه الكاتب، لذا كان حريصا في المقدمة على شرح مفهوم الالعاب بدقة。الجزء الثالث كان كاستراحة المحارب، يوضح لك أهمية الألعاب، وهل الألعاب كلها مضرة؟ ولماذا نلجأ للالعاب؟ ومتى نتخلى عنها؟ التقييم العام :خمس نجوم 。。。more
Kateryna Krotova
，
Really liked this book。 My brother told me to read it a long time ago。。 And just now I read it in a single day （it’s not big book）。。 Totally agreed with an author， that a lot of situations， that we see， that we live are just games， that people playing， depending on their inner self。。 It could be a child， parent or an adult。 Will definitely keep reading second part of this book！
Bookaholic
，
thank you I hated this。 I have no idea why this book is so popular still when it’s terribly sexist。 the “Hit me daddy” game wasn’t even the worst。
Leslie
，
I tried to read this with an open mind， aware that it was originally written in the 60s。 It was hard to ignore the bias created by the patriarchal， sexist， and homophobic views of the time that hit me full in the face; however， it did allow me to appreciate the progress we have made to date which is sometimes hard to recognize without looking at the contrast of how it was just 50 or so years ago。 With the intention of not throwing out the baby with the bathwater， there were some relevant nuggets I tried to read this with an open mind， aware that it was originally written in the 60s。 It was hard to ignore the bias created by the patriarchal， sexist， and homophobic views of the time that hit me full in the face; however， it did allow me to appreciate the progress we have made to date which is sometimes hard to recognize without looking at the contrast of how it was just 50 or so years ago。 With the intention of not throwing out the baby with the bathwater， there were some relevant nuggets of human behavior patterns that are helpful to be aware of and recognize so as not to get caught up in the "games" that perpetuate dysfunction。 。。。more
Viktorija
，
Bendraujant su kitais，pasak E。 Berne， žmogus demonstruoja Tėvo， Suaugusiojo ar Vaiko ego būseną。 O Žaidimai， tai žmonių bendravimas， turintis slaptų motyvų， kitaip sakant， tai pasikartojanti žabangų seka， kuri skiriasi nuo slaptų motyvų neturinčio bendravimo。 Kaip pavyzdžiui， "kriminologai kartais pajuokauja， kad kai kurie nusikaltėliai elgiasi taip， tarsi patirtų malonumą， kai juos persekioja ir sugauna。"（145 p。）。 Skaitant knygą sunku susigaudyti， reikia gilesnio išmanymo， papildomo domėjimosi Bendraujant su kitais，pasak E。 Berne， žmogus demonstruoja Tėvo， Suaugusiojo ar Vaiko ego būseną。 O Žaidimai， tai žmonių bendravimas， turintis slaptų motyvų， kitaip sakant， tai pasikartojanti žabangų seka， kuri skiriasi nuo slaptų motyvų neturinčio bendravimo。 Kaip pavyzdžiui， "kriminologai kartais pajuokauja， kad kai kurie nusikaltėliai elgiasi taip， tarsi patirtų malonumą， kai juos persekioja ir sugauna。"（145 p。）。 Skaitant knygą sunku susigaudyti， reikia gilesnio išmanymo， papildomo domėjimosi transakcine analize。 Skaitėsi sunkiai。 。。。more
Nader Hajj Shehadeh
，
A little bit over-rated。Advice: Don't jump into the games and skip the first part A little bit over-rated。Advice: Don't jump into the games and skip the first part 。。。more
Markéta
，
Fuj。 Deterministický a sexistický kekel， který narozdíl od jiných děl nenabízí zrovna velký přesah。 Jako jo， můžeme mít tendenci opakovaně se chovat podle nezdravých vzorců， ale asi za to úplně nemůže závist penisu nebo frigidita manželky。
Gabija Mikolaitytė
，
Knyga paini， ypač dalyje， kurioje kalbama apie kiekvieną iš žaidimų atskirai。 Autorius nėra nuoseklus ir tai labai maišo， daro žaidimų apibūdinimus sunkiais suprasti。 Tačiau， visos likusios dalys - transakcinė analizė， motyvacija siekiant paglostymų ir kt。， yra aprašytos nuosekliai ir suprantamai。 Knyga nėra lengvam paskaitymui。 Ji labiau tiks asmenybės psichologijos teorijomis besidomintiems žmonėms。
Sam
，
در واقع میخواستم دو و نیم بدم نمیشد。
Bruno Manosalvas
，
Elucidating
Andy Liszewski
，
I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist but I thought the concepts in this book made a lot of sense and shed light on a lot of my previous interactions with people who I thought did things that made no sense。If you or a person/child you know （double check it first - you may not want a child to read certain parts） is more inclined toward understanding math and science and doesn't understand people， this book would be great for you/them。 I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist but I thought the concepts in this book made a lot of sense and shed light on a lot of my previous interactions with people who I thought did things that made no sense。If you or a person/child you know （double check it first - you may not want a child to read certain parts） is more inclined toward understanding math and science and doesn't understand people， this book would be great for you/them。 。。。more
Aditi Singh
，
An irresistible voyage through human interactions。。。 kind of a sagacious metaphor that might not fit everywhere but still interesting。
Frank
，
Passive aggressiveNineteen sixties S。 O。 B。Equates Santa， Death。
Harlan Wilton
，
interesting， bit technical but I enjoyed
Zain
，
This book is outdated and you can't follow up everything This book is outdated and you can't follow up everything 。。。more
The Book Squirrel
，
I'm not actually sure what to rate this book。 On one hand， it's a fascinating dissection of human behaviour and how people manipulate， provoke， and control （or attempt to control） others in "games" of interpersonal relationships to get something （a psychological or social "reward"）。 A lot of this is things like responsibility-avoidance， other-blaming， codependence， and consciously or subconsciously engaging in certain behaviours and life choices in order to reinforce their "game" and get their " I'm not actually sure what to rate this book。 On one hand， it's a fascinating dissection of human behaviour and how people manipulate， provoke， and control （or attempt to control） others in "games" of interpersonal relationships to get something （a psychological or social "reward"）。 A lot of this is things like responsibility-avoidance， other-blaming， codependence， and consciously or subconsciously engaging in certain behaviours and life choices in order to reinforce their "game" and get their "reward"。The book also delves into some of the "games" played in society and you can even see how they apply to groups in society interacting with government agencies and the reverse。At the most basic， a "game" example might be one child asking another to make them a mud pie， and then laughing at them that they got dirty （this is called "gotcha" in the book）。 A more complex game example is the patient who sees multiple therapists to practice and get better at manipulating therapists。I think everyone on the planet has played one or more of these games to varying degrees at some point， although where （for just one example） something that might be relatively harmless and acceptable like "flirting" crosses the line into an unhealthy "game" might be a bit of a grey area for some people/in some cases/dependant on the situation。Of note is that the book was first published in the 1960's， and there are societal views that have changed since then （whether this is because we've all just accepted that we're all playing a certain game to the extent that we don't notice we're playing， or whether we have "evolved" in some ways where what WAS a game is no longer a game， or otherwise， would probably make for a long and intense （and probably offensive） discussion in certain groups）。I would say it is a MUST READ for anyone thinking of studying psychology to become a therapist。 There are a lot of warnings about how a therapist can avoid getting caught up in a patient's games and helping the patient identify the game and the reasons they play it in order to grow and stop playing the game （"no game-playing" being the ultimate goal for being an individual engaging in healthy relationships， which some game-players don't actually want）。No doubt narcissists and sociopaths are masterful game-players， so if you think you have one of these in your life that you can't easily escape， this book may also be interesting to you in identifying "games" and how to disrupt that person's processes and rewards in playing （or NOT playing， to be precise） the game。I would recommend you read this book rather than listen to the audio， which was a little hard to follow at times as it sounded like they were reading charts， lists， or matrixes。 （I don't actually know that is what they were reading， it just sounded like it）。I give this book 5 stars for the depth of content and because I found most of it fascinating （also alarming and depressing how messed-up human interactions can be）， but I will also agree with anyone who thinks it is so dry it borders on unreadable。 It's not going to be for everyone。 。。。more
Milan Pecov
，
This book is an interesting introduction about the intersection of game theory and psychoanalysis。 I think that people intuitively have some understanding for the social games in which they participate and I believe that this framework has a potential to create a nice structure around that intuition and abstracts the particular social interactions in a simple universal format that is easy to analyze。A game is defined as a series of transactions between two （or more） individuals， and transaction This book is an interesting introduction about the intersection of game theory and psychoanalysis。 I think that people intuitively have some understanding for the social games in which they participate and I believe that this framework has a potential to create a nice structure around that intuition and abstracts the particular social interactions in a simple universal format that is easy to analyze。A game is defined as a series of transactions between two （or more） individuals， and transaction can be something that has stimulus from individual 1 and response from individual 2。 The way Eric manages to model the psychological properties of a game is by abstracting that the stimulus or response can originate from a three ego-states of the individuals involved: the Parent， Adult， and Child state。 This feature allows structural psychological analysis on all the transactions played in a game and it makes the game model unique because compared to the mathematical game models with rational agents， this game is played by agents who take actions based of their fundamentally irrational desires。After defining few more psychological properties and classifications of the game the author spends the second half of the book on explaining how this theory can be applied to better understand various social games that he found （Marital Games， Party Games， Sexual Games， Underworld Games， Consulting Room Games。。。）。 This part is fun to read but it also exposes the fundamental problem of the theory which is that the structural analysis is not universal enough by itself and to reach a final conclusion the theory also heavily depends on content analysis。 That said， I still find the basic theoretical framework to be thought provoking and the premise that a good game is when the individuals achieve high level of thriftiness in their transactions （maximum benefit with minimum effort） and high elegance where they avoid all the unnecessary in-between moves sounds about right。 。。。more
Zen Lara
，
I really enjoyed the premises particularly the description of intimacy as interaction without games， a more direct form of relating， but the examples feel soooo dated and heterosexist that I definitely wish id read a more updated version。
Sergio Alonso De Leon
，